About Mommy Center

About Mommy Center

Monday, July 13, 2009

Should I/ Shouldn't I

It's amazing how many people know what's best for you, baby and how hard you'll find it to actually agree with any of them! I am sure everybody on this board can completely related to me when I say, you can never please everyone as far as parenting is concerned. Advice, suggestions, complains keep pouring in from all quarters. I have been able to ignore some of the comments and complains which came my way. But of late confused about a decision that I took for my daughter.

Being married in the same town my parents live is a blessing. More so since my in-laws dont live in the same city or country for that matter. So my family is our only support group. Kyra spends her dad at my mom's place while I am at work. There are loads of help out there to look after her, plus my bhabhi stays at home, as she just gave birth to her second child. She has an elder brother to plat with over there. A Blessing most of you if not all would agree to.

Weekends are my chores day and the very rare dinner out with family/friends. On such cases I do not like to take Kyra out, as her sleep gets disturbed. I believe that children grow in their sleep so why ruin that. I must add that Kyra is a very light sleeper (thanks to my genes) and picking her up from the bed or someone talking loudly. So its best I thought she stays at home. Besides I am very confident that she is very well cared of when I am not around and not need to worry about anything. Kyra is too small to understand the concept of a resturant as yet and associates no pleasure with it. Thereby I am not depriving her of anything is my faith.
Though alot of people, mainly cause they would like to see her keep telling me how they took their kids to even a movie from the age of 4 m.

I am wrong in putting Kyra's sleep and her hapiness (as perceived by me) as priority number one, over taking her to resturants for my friends pleasure?


  1. I dont think you need to worry about this too much komal. There are couple of ways to look at it.

    Now if Kyra sleeps during the time that you plan on going out.. i dont think it is necessary to wake the child up and go out. People say not to wake up a sleeping child.. because they get cranky later and then it is twice the work for us.But if you know she is probably going to wake up in say 15-20 minutes.. you could take her out with you.

    Lets say she isn't sleeping during the time you had plans. You can still take her to the resturant(that is if you dont mind taking your 'me' time away) .. but only thing is she would miss her sleep time. This could be to your advantage sometimes because it might help her sleep later in the night because she gets more tired when she is out.

    Taking them to movies..is absolutely absurd because that is too much for a young child. REstuarant at Kyra's age is not bad once in a while because she too will get to see different people and what is going on around.

    As parents we dont like to change schedule because it works just fine for us. The minute it differs , it burns our brain cells because we are the ones who have to deal with it. So dont worry , you not alone on things like this. There were lot of times we never went to resturants with jaiden because we kept convincing ourselves that it is difficult to handle him and we wont be able to eat in peace. That is true but that outing can be a change for all of us. In the 2 yrs we have had jaiden ..we probably went to a resturant 5 times? and everytime it is difficult because they get restless and we dont get to enjoy our meal. But we took him.Needed that change (especially for me!).

    So dont worry at all about it. Take her the next time you go and see what she does. It is going to be difficult , but could be fun too with all your friends around.

  2. Thanks Liz for your support....kinda started feeling that I was taking a bus to mommy hell.
    Glad you agree with letting the baby sleep bit. You surely made my day!

  3. Ya Komal everything that Liz says is perfect. We have not tried movies yet because I too think its too much for them at this age... but restaurants, once ur kid begins eating more variety of foods and get more teeth u can experiment once in a way. Of course it gets irritating since u cannot enjoy ur meal as u have to feed and eat.. but then again, that is the way they will understand the concept of eating together when outdoors. And besides, its a change for us more than anyone else... argh, who likes cooking!!!

  4. hey komal i agree with u..in india with so many people around u get so many advises and just pick wht u feel is appropriate.
    For me Anish's sleep and routine is very imp.Kids dont like changes in their routine until 5yrs of age.We had never tried movies for anish and also he has only half hr-1hr of tv/laptop time every day.I prefer to play with him rather thn allow him to watch tv.
    And my exp with restaurants..was bad.When anish was 11/2 yr old we had gone to a restaurant.He was so exited about the whole thing tht he just started screaming and wanted to just walk around and look at the people.we were damm embarrassed.So we took him only on occasions and ofcourse after he had learned to behave :-).
    So as u said sleep is important and if your outings are not during her nap time u can take her along..otherwise poeple who want to see her can visit her..and also if u take her during her nap time she may get cranky and u guys cant enjoy too.



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