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Friday, November 20, 2009

PMS, Anger, Frustration and its aftermath!

Do you want to bang your head against the wall somedays just because there was another dish to be washed not too long after you did a thousand dishes? Do you feel like you do so much and there seems to be nobody even bothered about it? Do you want to whack the brains out of your toddler simply because he wanted your attention but you were busy? And does all this happen mostly around when its that 'time of the month'??

Im not sure how, when, where or why this has been going on but Im pretty darn sure its PMS. Because I feel downright frustrated, short tempered and get absolutely cheezed off for every little thing around the time of my monthly cycle. Not to mention it has a mind of its own, thanks to PCOS that continues to linger on.

I've seen that working out and following a healthy diet does affect this syndrome. When I do rigorous workouts and watch what I eat the symptoms of PMS such as anger and frustration dont show up as much as the other physical aspects of PMS (bloating, sugary/salty food cravings etc.) which persist to some extent no matter what I do.

Sadly for me, it becomes a catch 22 situation sometimes. And most of the times its when Im taking a break from working out and head into my PMS days that I begin craving chocolate and chips. Yumm! And bang, the next thing you know, Im SO ANGRY and thumping my feet on the floor (Neha do you feel the building vibrate or something??) because something did not happen my way. But if I avoid all this junk then Im a lot better. Ive observed it over months now. But, everyone needs a break, right??!!!

Well here's the real thing that is bothering me. I get upset. So much that I display violent actions in front of Samvit when I'm in those horrible PMS days. On normal days I do get angry too but it dies down fast and then Im like trying to console Samvit and play and all that.... you know, just the normal modus operandi!

But before my cycle, I can be a terror! And sometimes I feel that is getting incorporated in him as a way of handling his own anger. Because these days when he does not get his way he tends to bite and pinch and gets physical. Im afraid if this pattern continues then he might get violent when he goes to school, and worse later!!

To add to it he is in a phase that is termed as the 'terrible twos'. Just adds to the misery on pre-mentrual days. Some days I end up crying when Im alone. But once the cycle is over and done with Im all smiles and just the happy person I had been before. I have a feeling that this upheavel has mostly occured post-delivery. You know, with hormones going crazy thru pregnancy and then post delivery (and PCOS to compound it all!!). I never felt all this pre-pregnancy. Im pretty sure of that and those who know me would agree and not believe that Ive become one wreck of nerves.

My mom keeps telling me to calm down and all that. But its just not that easy. My hubby sees me acting like a tornado but cannot do much except tell me to stay cool because its not Samvit's fault. I agree. But Im not able to stop myself. Its like ther is some invisible power that controlling my emotions.... Um, on second thoughts, it is!!

I'm just pretty worried about the way its all going. And I just needed to share it with people who'd understand and relate to it in some way if not all. Any of you out here going thru all this? How do you handle it?? Let me know!!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Welcome Sadhana Sen

One more member everyone. We are 25 members now. I think that calls for a celebration!!!

Sadhana Sen is Anitha P B's friend and lives in Auckland, NZ. She has a five month old daughter, Ritisha.

Sadhana, Welcome to Mommy Center.

I have sent you the invite to write on the blog. But apart from accepting the invite, we require our members to do a couple more things. They are listed out below.

1. Subscribe to the posts - Doing so will enable all posts to come straight to your inbox. For this all you have to do is follow these instructions.

2. Share your Profile - This feature is on the blog (Member Profiles) where you can view some basic details about various members of Mommy Center. We would like you to provide us with your information so that we could have it up in this section. Here are the instructions to do so.

We cannot wait to hear from you about everything that you want to share with us out here. Anitha, thank you for another member. Do fill in how you know each other too!!

Happy Blogging!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Anitha P B

My Information
Name – Anitha Pissay Balakrishna
Profession - Looking of a break. currently working part time
Husband's Name – Srinivasa Rao
Husband's Profession - Research Scientist, Working for Novartis
DOB – 14*August
Wedded Since – 22*May*2003


Interests - Music, dance, reading, working out, teaching Shreyas
About Me - Born and lived my entire life in Bangalore till marriage catapulted me to Singapore. Completed my Masters in Statistics after marriage and with Shreyas in hand (I was pregnant when I started the course).

Son’s Information
Shreyas - Boy, 10*March*2006

A-Z of Animals!!!!

How do I stop??? NO not stop...satisfy my son's hunger to know 5 animals of all the letters of the alphabets.....Yes!!! You read right!!! 5 animals each for the letters A-to-Z

Shreyas, being a 3+ years old boy is crazy...definitely I can say crazy about animals...how??? He imagines every morsel of his chapathi as an animal.."What is this animal???" (What he means to ask is , which animal does the shape resemble??) he questions me every time he takes a bite.

Last Sunday after an outing to the well lit Orchard Road (Chirstmas season has begun) on the way back home in the bus, Shreyas, started asking "What animal?" His way of letting me know to ask him questions. So I began with Which is the biggest Animal? Tallest Animal? Fastest Animal?Slowest Animal? Animal with longest neck? Longest nose? lots of hair on the face? fastest Bird? biggest Bird? and so on....he finished answering me.....Again he wanted me to ask more questions...for which I began give me 5 animals under the sea? 5 birds which lives in Water and so on....

Later, after a much needed silence of 5 so mins..(I guess I triggered his quest here) He started with his list...(Well let me highlight here that he knows A to Z of the alphabets in an order without any help and recite A-Z of animals...including I for Iguana, Q for Quail Bird and X for X-Ray fish). As I was saying, his list for 5 animals each...

A for Aardvark, Alligator, Armadillo, Angelfish, Anaconda , Aye Aye (My son remembered this from his book)....
B for .........
"Mummy, Mummy! Which 5 animals....bear, bull, buffalo,beaver...hmmm...what animal ?"
L for Lion, Lemur......
..................
.................
I could get away with easy ones like O - Oclet, Octopus, Orangutan, Owl, Otter, Ox, Okapi (He know all the animals listed here). But for the difficult ones, I was thoroughly lost for animals for letters like E, Q, N , X, V, Z and more ( I couldnt get 5 animals each for these)

Every night he reads ( I read for him) fact books on animals (those mini encyclopedia kinds) repeatedly( I have lost count).... When we go for outings he wants to buy Animals, Animal Books, anything related to animals...

After this incident, today, I started to search on the web for the A-Z of animals and got this beautiful interesting site on the list... http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/a-to-z . It lists all the animals with pictures, which I thought I can share with my fellow moms......

I have booked tickets to visit the Zoo this Saturday, 14th November 2009. He is all eager and awaiting this trip to the zoo. ( in this pretext, I blackmail him to do his things right and behave, OR ELSE ..... ) I know its a little crime, but hey Its ok once in a while...

All I can pray is God give me the awareness and strength to meet my son's quest for knowledge....

Thursday, November 5, 2009

It's a Vanity Affair!..or is it??

Feels like yesterday when I used to complain to my mom about her sense of dressing, make up and style. I cannot forget how I whined and got annoyed at the fact that she used to apply the brightest available shade of red at the last minute...almost at the moment when we have to step out of the door for a wedding or a get-together, making her nails looking like half baked cherries in a pie. I would be so angry with her for over applying her make up making her face look like a 3 inch thick pancake.

But today, when its time to head out and socialize I find myself rushing to get myself all groomed up and to say the least, end up looking far worse than what my mom did. In fact, coming to think of it, she looked so beautiful no matter what she did (or did not) do to herself. I'm sure our kids will say the same to us when they get to this stage too.. but what Im coming at is the point that what seemed so essential at one time has now dwindled down our priority list.

I could'nt care lesser about having matching nail polish shades on my finger nails and toes...or for that matter, not having it at all!! I could'nt care lesser if I wore the same dress over the last two occassions simply because it was the one that was right on top of the pile of clothes in my wardrobe. I could'nt care lesser if I had a bad hair day... all I care now is if my son has a good pair of trousers and shirt to wear. Do his socks match his outfit? Does he need a different hair-cut? Are his nails clipped? How about his jacket? (Gosh, Im thanking my stars I dont have a baby girl...I'd go bonkers!!)

How things change... and it happens in the most amazing (sometimes annoying too) way!!! So the last time when I met Mom when we were in India (that was last year when Sam was around 9 months), I... was the one rushing up with my eyeliner and she stood there behind me, still looking as beautiful as ever....and as unhassled as ever!

How things change!!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Malini starts reading


Daughter is turning 5 and she already read 18 sentences ALL BY HERSELF................. !!!

She told me to buy her an 'easy book' and I did that. Bought her the Book, 'Goat in a Boat' and SHE READ A FULL STORY :)) I loved every minute of it and even felt rewarded all over again!! I started reading out to her when she was barely 4 months old and she would stare at the pictures with full focus and curiosity as I turned page after page.

The neighborhood book shop 'CROSSWORD, Powai' has been my second home ever since we landed in Mumbai and I can't stop without a word of gratitude, especially to 'Nisha' who works in the children's section and has read out many stories to her. Sooo Happy, Guys! Want to share this moment of joy!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Anjana Parthasarathy

My Information
Name - Anjana Parthasarathy
Husband's name - Sanjay
DOB - August 1st
Wedded Since - 22/04/05
No. of Children- 1
Interests - Reading, travel, baking cakes, sometimes play the keyboard, shopping and currently, photographing my little angel.
Web page/Blog - http://www.cozyoven.blogspot.com/
http://www.my-potpurri-of-thoughts.blogspot.com/
About Me - I grew up in Bangalore and did my schooling etc all the way upto engineering, and then came to Hawaii (yes! Hawaii) for my masters, though I transferred out to a school in Bay Area and graduated from there. I am now living in the Land of Sun and Sand, sans the Surf!

Kids Information
Maanya - Female, May 1st, 2009

Divya Panuganti

My Information

Name - Divya Panuganti

Husband's Name - Arjun

DOB - 07 Oct

Wedded Since - 15 feb, 2009

Interests - I enjoy music, driving, travelling, reading now and then, chatting, and shopping!!!

About Me - I grew up in Hyderabad mostly and then went to Lko for my MBA. Joined Infy from college, and have been with them ever since. have been comfortably single for a long time, before getting hooked to arjun early this year. and here i am - already ready to be a mom! :) am due in the end of november.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Vijayalakshmi Chandrasekaran

My Information
Name - Vijayalakshmi Chandrasekaran
Husband's Name - Eswar
DOB - 23rd February
Wedded Since - 30th April, 2007
No. of Children- 1
Interests - I love reading, travelling, watching home decoration and cooking shows(though not very fond of cooking:))
About Me -I was born in Bangalore, grew up there, went to school, college, basically lived there all my life. Then came marriage, got married and moved to the US but oh, how I miss Bangalore! Now in the US working as a statistician in a pharmaceutical company. .

Kids Information
Krish - Boy, 23/6/2009

9 tips for stay-at-home parents from Gerber

Got this lil piece of information and thought since we are on the topic of stay-home moms, its the apt time to post it.. although following it may seem tough.


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Introducing Paromita Deb

A new member after a long time indeed. Here's introducing to you all - Paromita Deb. She has been among the best of friend's I can ask for and was my colleague at i-flex Bangalore, only I hardly remember the colleague bit because we had so much fun at work! We worked in the same team, on the same projects even... but never ceased to stop by and grab every chance to take part in just about every cultural/non-official activity. That gave us the feel of being back in college.

Paromita has a son, Rishi who turned two this July. She lives in Toronto with her hubby, Shivaji, and her little brat. Now, Mommy Center enters another country.... nice!!

Paromita, welcome to Mommy Center. I personally cannot wait to see more of you here!! Share with us everything you experience as a mom - whether they are answers to others queries, your own questions or just random thoughts you want to share with everyone out here.

I'm guessing you would have accepted the invite to the blog. Now all you gotta do is subscribe to Mommy Center. For this simply follow these instructions. And, for everything else that you want to know about Mommy Center read up the archives!

And here is a little something we would like you to do as a member of Mommy Center. We run a section with profiles of all our members (which you can see on the blog) so it will be easy to look up basic information about a member whenever you want. All you have to do for this is mentioned here. Make this your first post so we have you up on the Member Profiles Section!!

Happy Blogging Paromita!!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Stay-home moms et. al.

Anjana this is in response to you post. Others, its a long one... just the way most of my posts are :) Enjoy!!

To start off, being a stay-home mom, for whatever reason you become one, is a huge thing. Here, I will put in my perspective of all the good and bad (and everything in between) of being a stay-home mom in a setup where you have NO domestic help and practically no 'social influence' per se.

It came to me as a surprise - this whole baby thing. It was one thing trying to conceive, then go through a miraculous pregnancy and now, its another trying to raise a child with absolutely no prior experience (Even visual, since I have so siblings/nephews/nieces who have grown up with us).

As I write all this I'm wondering where to begin. Whether I should tell you the number of times I lost my patience and temper because Samvit did something very annoying.... and got so angry that Id whack him hard on his snuggly diapered butt. Or narrate how much I crave to re-live every single moment that I spent until today raising this baby of mine just so that I can see how he has become every little thing that he is today, yet again!!

Its tough. It takes patience, perseverance and a many self-taught philosophy lessons. It was one thing to deal with home and work and totally another to deal with home and baby. Im sure its another ball game having work in the latter combination. I think someone who is going through that can throw more light on it. Well to put things simply - Ive grown from sitting on a swivel chair at work and commenting on the way the world is... to staying at home and making the world what it is. Ive come to believe, after having a baby, that what the world is today is due to every single mother (working or at home) who put in her EVERYTHING to raise a child and make him a contributor to this world. Ok,I'm drifing away to philosophical fundas now!!!

So, back to the point. Stay at home moms are not somehow suddenly blessed with a ton of patience and nor does motherly passion takeover entirely. Its a battle between trying to be who you are (or 'were' before baby) and who you ARE!! Like most of you working women might agree it does give you a break to go off to work and be 'yourself' although mentally you might have baby on your mind 24/7! Its work but its some time off for yourself too. I might be wrong, because going to work, I know, has its own pressures since Ive been there and done that too.

And then there is the physical aspect. There are days when I personally would do anything to simply sit in a silent room and not do ANYTHING. No cooking, no dishes, no tons of laundry, no diaper changes, no potty training, no cleaning, no nothing. Yes. Being at home takes a huge toll on a woman physically. It is very VERY exhausting to say the least. I think its the toughest task to keep up with a toddler who wants attention. Besides, more than just attention, they even need physical activity.. so apart from doing all these chores we have to see that we play with these little bundles of energy so that they would sleep easily at nap times and eat well too. Having family at home solves this problem to a certain extent. How much can one woman do? It aint easy.

And how can one forget about how we moms can get totally insane just worrying that our kids are not eating, or not sleeping easily, or not walking or talking etc? What makes this worse is the fact that when you are around them all the time as a stay home mom you feel YOU are responsible for it all. The only thing that compounds this feeling is #1 Our guilt and #2 Relatives who pass snide comments about our 'incapabilities' of being a parent. It gets on you - Like a dose of slow poison....and suddenly you get engulfed by this whole horrifying idea that you are not doing a good 'job' as a mother. I had this feeling. I broke down in front of my husband one evening when he returned home. And I kept sobbing and weeping like a kid telling him I'm a pathetic mom because Sam cannot eat with a spoon. He was like, "Are you ok? You fought for it this far.. and, for Gods sake, its all not about a spoon!!" That did miracles, but what I'm coming to is the fact that we stay-home moms feel we are accountable for EVERYTHING. Which does cause more than a few strands of hair turn gray.
And then there is this whole 'what-am-I-doing-with-my-life' aspect, that takes over every once in way which Id rather talk less about because if I start with the list I want to do and rant and rave about it... this post can become an endless one.
All emotional attachment said and done, sometimes(out of monotony of our daily lives and trying to adjust our routines to the kids) we stay home moms tend to push away kids when we are doing chores. Simply because we have 'so much work' to get done before 'its mealtime/naptime'. We're at home but always rushing to cope up with time juggling N number of things at hand and trying to find a little 'Me' Time. And sometimes I think I do take my childs presence for granted. But later when he sleeps I feel guilty if I did not pay him attention when he was screaming his heaad off and showing me that he put those two red blocks together...and later realize that it was because he recognized the colours and I failed to see that!! Its the little things they do and the monotony of daily life makes us over look it all.

But apart from all this, no matter how tired I am or how frustrated I get with the number of times Samvit throws tantrums I think there is nothing more rewarding that staying home and watching a miracle grow right in front of my eyes... that I think is enough to refuel a mom, ANY mom!!

So as you can see life of a stay home mom is a huge concoction (and confusion) of emotions, chores, activites - all put together in a way that cannot be explicitly explained. And like I said earlier... I would do anything to watch a re-run of this entire story - even with another thousand diaper changes. Yes!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Co-Sleeping

Its something we all do right from when our lil ones are born. And I think its a part of our Indian culture to have our babies sleep with us until a certain age when we think they can sleep on their own.

But how and when do you make the transition? Have any of you made your babies sleep alone, separately at night right from the start? Have any of you already transitioned them to sleep themselves? If so when and, more importantly - HOW??

Put in your thoughts on this aspect and lets see what we all would agree on and finally end up doing!!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Patience, Passion or Both?

One question has been knocking on every brain cell for the last two weeks - how do the people working at day care, single moms, stay-at-home-moms manage to care for the little ones? Is it just passion, or an abundance of patience, or both?

Since my parents returned to India 20 days back, I have been staying home with my almost-six-month old kiddoo. This is just the beginning of my three month time off from work. These last few days have been such an eye-opener to me, I tell you! I figured how much work goes into managing all the household work plus the little "Home Entertainment System" that I have. It does take up all your time, but sure is well worth it in the end.

My typical day starts at 6 in the morning when I shower up before hubby leaves to work at 6:30. I get about an hour to myself before Maanya is up, and I usually try to catch up on household chores then, except, occasionally (like today) when I go online to check my mails. Once the little one is up, it's all whole nine yards - nursing, diapering, baby bath, rock her to sleep (and catch a few winks myself right on the rocking chair). Before I know it, it's evening and time to step for a little stroll! Once we are back home, that's when my patience is tested. I will need to get done with cooking, and put Maanya to sleep (the princess protests if her dad rocks her at night!). And oh, I am still working on getting her to at least nap in her crib. It's baby progress, if you know what I mean. I am so exhausted by the time I hit sack, the night seems to just whizz by, what with waking up a couple times to nurse the baby as well.

So I wonder, how does a single mom manage? What is it that folks at day care centers have that keep them going every day? Is it a huge pot of patience that they have access to, or do they just love kids so much that nothing else matters? I absolutely love kids, and am very patient as well, but there are still times that actually test me! What about stay-at-home-moms? Does everyone feel the same, stay-at-home and otherwise? Are there times when you feel you need some time to yourself?

All in all, I must say that I am really glad to have taken a little break from work and am enjoying every minute I am getting with Maanya!!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The mind of a child

Been wanting to do this post for a while now....Finally found the time.

Like, we all know by now that every child has a mind of his/her own. I so very well knew that but yet when I was approached by a kid not too long ago I conveniently forgot about it and tried to act like I had the upper hand of the situation since I was an adult.

Well, here's what happened!

We had been on a vacation to this lovely place called Lake George in upstate New York. We enjoyed every minute of ours there. Then we headed straight for a supposedly popular garden in a town close to Lake George. Although we seemed to have expected a little too much from the garden, there was a wedding party there taking pictures to prove us wrong. They stood in the middle of what I might want to call the remains of a once-beautiful rose garden.

Anyway, while I was climbing my way up a flight of stairs towards a pavillion (where the wedding party were trying all poses/combinations of people for photos) a little girl dressed up in a very beautiful white frock walked up to me and asked, "Have you seen a Princess?"

I never expected anyone to come talk to us, let alone a child who would rather be flaunting away her dress with her friends.

I said, "No"

In an instant, she snapped at me, "I AM A PRINCESS!!"

"Oh, ok" And while I searched my brains for a more staisfying reply, some devine power had me and I said, "I thought you were a Fairy"

She gave me this 'dirty' look. I began wondering if I said something devastatingly wrong. She gave me one of those 'are-you-outta-your-mind' looks and continued, "I'm four"

I was like, where is this going? "Oh ok?" I managed to fumble.

She was so cheezed off by now and she nearly yelled at me, "Fairies are small. They are one. I am FOUR"

Phbbbttt.. Did any of you out there know the age of fairies???....Well, I smiled and she stormed away! The mind of a child, I tell you... !!

Monday, September 28, 2009

LS

My Information
Name - LS
Husband's Name - RG
DOB - 21/08
Wedded since - 03/02
No. of children - 2
Interests - Architecture, Animals, Plants, People, Kids, Painting, Sketching, Photography, Movies, Blogging, Music.
About me - Insignificant I may be in this indefinite world, I try to make a difference

Kids Information
Rose bud and Butter cup

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Singapore Moms...

A group of moms in Singapore also do something like us...one of my classmates from junior college there is part of this, that's how I discovered it: http://mums-a-musing.com/

She also has a lovely baby blog: http://olimomok.livejournal.com/tag/jellybean

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Why God Made Mothers

I got this as a forward. Some of you must have read it before. But, it's so cute, I think you would not mind reading it all over again!

WHY GOD MADE MOMS?!

Here are some answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of there e when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean

2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?

3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but s he has to because dad's such a goof ball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know her hair. I'd 'diet', maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.

2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

To have or not to have

As Kyra is nearing her first birthday, the debate about the celebrations play out in my head more often. I thought it would be apt to go over the no 1st birthday party rule that I made and ask of your opinion.

A baby's first birthday is always something special for the parents, grandparents, close friends and family. The baby probably doesn't even understand what the fuss is all about. It is also potentially costly as people spend a hefty amount in organizing a lavish birthday party and on birthday gifts, return gifts, the food and the decoration etc. However, I think that the birthday baby won't appreciate such extravagance and small is definitely beautiful at this age!

A one-year-old may be fearful of strangers, and strange or new places. Despite liking other babies, she won't understand how to play with them yet. Kyra enjoys individual attention and likes to make us laugh. At this closely-attached-to-mum stage, the best way I fell I can make this a special day for her is by offering her loads of undiluted attention. Her social network is small and intimate and that's how she likes it.

I have seen babies cry on the special day, or just too cranky and clingy. That defeats the whole purpose - the one who should be the happiest is not happy at all. And the people whose attention she craves for the most are busy organizing the party and looking after the guests. Kinda makes me question the whole point of the party.

I had planed to bake a cake for her. Buy her new clothes and toys. Take her out to a park or something. Make the day special by these small gestures. But of late worried - Just hope that Kyra doesn't grow up and ask me why I never celebrated her first birthday, was it not important to me? The 'All in your best interest my precious little one' concept maybe lost to her.

What do you guys think?

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Padma Ramanathan

My Information

Name - Padma Ramanathan
Husband's Name - Murali
DOB - 10/17
Wedded since - 01/16/2005
No. of children - 1
Interests - Reading, music, watching movies, travelling, baking
About me - Born in Chennai. I did my schooling in Chennai, Bangalore, Ahmedabad and in a small town in Gujarat. Then I went to Bangalore to do my degree which is where I met Pallavi (next door). Three years later, I did my MBA from TAPMI, Manipal and moved to Mumbai to work. Two years later, I got married and moved to Indonesia for a year. I spent 2 years in Singapore where I was working and my son was born. I've been in the U.S for about 1.5 years now (we are already relocated once:)) and am currently at home full time.

Kids Information
Varun - Boy, 04/12/2007

Friday, September 11, 2009

Ramya Vikram


My Information
Name - Ramya Srinivasa
Husband's Name - Vikram Boregowda
DOB - 30/04
Wedded Since - 11/02/04
No. of Children- 1
Interests - Crafts , Browsing,Watching daily soaps,cooking and wud luv to do some gardening.
About Me - Born and brought up in Bangalore.Got married in 2004. Moved to San Diego.Have a cute boy Anish whose going to be 3in Oct.

Kids Information
Name of Child1 - Boy, Anish Vikram Gowda 24/0ct/2006

Liz Abraham

My Information
Name - Liz Abraham
Husband's Name - Binoy
DOB - 08/11
Wedded Since - 01/07/2006
No. of Children - 1
Interests - Music, arts and crafts, puzzles,watching movies, cooking and eating good food!!!
About Me - Lets see.. born in Kerala, brought up in Kuwait and then to Blore for under grad where all these lovely ladies come into the picture. After that , went to Chennai for a year to do another course and came to the US to do my MS, where i met my hubby dearest Binoy. Got married and now have a wonderful little boy, Jaiden who is nothing but full of life!!

Kids Information
Jaiden - Boy, 18/07/2007

Smitha Rao Madan

My Information
Name - Smitha Rao Madan
Husband's Name - Sumeet Madan
DOB - 09/05
Wedded Since - 25/10/2006
No. of Children - 1
Interests - Shopping, Watching movies, Listening to Music and Browsing
About Me - Will add this later

Kids Information
Nainika Madan - Girl, 16/6/2008

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Solutions to feeding a toddler

Samvit is a terror when it comes to mealtime. He will not sit. He will not eat. All he will do is simply push my hand away so that it wont reach his mouth. All these days I got wild on him. But, now I read (and hear from friends) that it is normal at this age. Yet, as mothers we want to make sure our children get the best nutrition they can from whatever little they eat (Oh, how I miss those days when he gobbled down that full bottle of milk even before I knew it. Perhaps I should wait for him to cry outta hunger like back then?!??) Anyway, I did a little research online and I found this nice link that I thought might benefit other frustrated moms like me.

http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/children/parents/behavior/224.html

I've decided that henceforth I will not force him. And I am putting it down in writing here so that it will sit in my mind like the foundation of a new building, and yes, I wish to start it all again. Afresh. And, hope he eats better! Ah... Hope....Is it not what we all live on?

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Ooops! A little more info...

Sorry ladies... Not sure how many of you noticed it but I forgot to include a very important piece of information for our Member Profiles. And, that happens to be husband's name!! I so conveniently forgot to add that in....If my better half knows, I wonder what he will say. Well ya this is a Mommy blog, but they are equally important as well.


So as of now for those of you who have put in your information I will add your husbands name in your profiles, to make life easier for all of us. But those of you who are going to do it hence forth simply check one of the profiles and do so. I suggest you add your hubby's names right below your name. See this example.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Neha Srivastava

Name - Neha
DOB - Feb
Wedded Since - 2005
No. of Children- 1
Web Page- http://www.inspired-recipes.com/and http://how-to-things.blogspot.com/
Interests - Music(listening), Blogging, Painting, Cooking
Kids Information
Toddler Boy

Komal Shah

My Information
Name - Komal Shah
Husband's Name - Saumil
DOB - 07/04
Wedded Since - 14/12/2006
No. of Children- 1

Kids Information
Kyra Shah - Girl, 7/11/2008

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Pallavi Rao

My InformationName - PR
Husband's Name - S
DOB - 21/10
Wedded since - 23/05/04
No of children - 1
Interests - Travel Travel Travel! oh and...armchair travel, Reading, Painting(oils), Writing , Music
Web page/Bloghttp://armchairgypsy.blogspot.com/
About Me - Daughter of an ex army chopper pilot dad and editor/publishing-house-GM mom, travelled like crazy as a kid. Left home at 15 for Singapore on a scholarship, came back to Bangalore and joined MCC for my degree where I met all these lovely ladies who are now ex classmates and friends for life. Then headed to B school at IIM, ended up meeting my partner in crime there, got hitched in '04 and travelled together with my fellow explorer-best friend-husband S(architect who loves writing and design and is a great dad!). Last year we decided it was time to add to our little family and M arrived this May to complete the picture :)
Kids Information
M, Female, 26/05/09

Friday, September 4, 2009

Deepti Deepak Pawar

My Information
Name - Deepti Deepak Pawar (Maiden Name was Deepti Suresh Moray)
Husband's Name - Deepak
DOB - 01/08
Wedded Since - 18/9/2002
No. of Children - 1
Interests - Music, playing the keyboard (the musical instrument, not the computer one!), dance, arts, writing, Bollywood movies, reading, working out, spending time outdoors with family and friends.
Web page/Blog - http://www.deeptizspace.blogspot.com/; http://www.somesalttotaste.blogspot.com/
About Me - Will do this bit a little later when I have my creative juices flowing!

Kids Information
Samvit - Boy, 17/1/2008

Member Profiles Section

Yes, its been a long awaited feature for Mommy Center - A Profiles Section. A place where you can read up a brief summary about a person. Somewhere where one can click and get to know about Mommy Center Members. But for that to be in place I need a little help from each and everyone of you.

For starters, I will require all of you to write a post.It's just that simple. I will put forth a format (let's call it form to make it sound simpler) and we will all fill it up with relevant information. So here is what you gotta do.

1. Log in to Blogger.com
2. Click on New Post
3. Put the Title of the Post as your FULL NAME
4. Enter data in the format (which I will put down a little further)
5. Save, Publish the Post I will take it from here.

Of course initially we will have umpteen number of brief summary posts of everyone coming up as posts on the blog, but kindly bear with that. I will put up my information as an example as my next post and put the Profiles Section in place too so you get an idea of the whole thing.

FORMAT FOR MEMBER INFORMATION
Here is the format in which we'd like to have your information. Let's keep it simple and clean so that readers/browsers will find that all member info is following a similar style and hence improve readability.

My Information
Name - Full Name
DOB - DD/MM (You could specify the year if you want to)
Wedded Since - DD/MM/YY
No. of Children- (Enter in numerals)
Interests - Specify any of your interests, hobbies etc.
Web page/Blog - URL of any other web page(s) or blog(s) that belongs to you
About Me - (Optional - Can be added later too!) A little note about yourself that you would want to share with everyone.

Kids Information
Name of Child1 - Gender, DOB
Name of Child2 - Gender, DOB
etc...

So, that's the format and I hope to see you all do it soon, so that we have all our profiles up in the Member Profiles Section - Coming Soon On Mommy Center!!!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Hello all

Just wanted to say hello to all of you. I thoroughly enjoyed reading all the posts .



Wanted to share this "http://www.babble.com/TMI-The-new-honesty-around-parenting-has-made-me-scared-to-have-kids/"



Looks like mommy blogs like ours is scaring people off :)

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Kabhi kabhi, Aditi..

"My friend ‘x’ is a little misbehaving type, my friend ‘y’ always agrees to whatever I say, but Aditi is real fun to be with and is my ‘true friend’", my daughter said. She was obviously unhappy about the fact that her best friend ‘Aditi’ is shifting to Delhi. I have seen them fight, compete and play together. They both got irritable when they had nothing to do. They always had an eye on the other, took dance and swimming classes together, checked whose drawing and coloring was better and whose hand writing was coming out well. I could just say, they evolved together.


My daughter’s plight led me to think of Aditi. She too sounded low but anticipates to play with the 'twin' friends who are going to be her new neighbors. She made a picture of a girl with a skipping rope and gave my daughter to 'keep safe forever'. She inturn got my daughter’s 'favorite smiley hair band' and looked relieved to have that piece of memory in her collection. I was reminded of Meenu, my own friend who has been the most meaningful influence in my childhood days and felt a loss for words.


"From where I am now, I have 'some things' to tell you two little children. It happens! my dear ones, and this is also part of your growing up. Life is not always fair and you need to face it with courage. It is not what you would've wanted, but you need to still move on. You need to move on with the knowledge that whatever space you have created in each other’s hearts are going to stay even when you both become as big as your Mammas. And you will even search for your childhood friends in your children’s friends...


You will walk places, climb mountains and cross oceans. You will meet people, make friends and have relationships. The learning that you had about interacting meaningfully and making a difference in each other’s lives will remain with you and help you in all your strides. So strange are the ways, who knows what life has in store, maybe you will still come together, go away from each other again and perhaps end up together all over again. It happens, Aditi, kabhi kabhi! You just have to learn to keep smiling... God bless you both!".

Monday, August 31, 2009

BitterSweet thoughts

Its Still so fresh in my mind holding nainika rolled into a pink blanket when she was just born...pink cheeks, red lips, big eyes with long eyelashes and black smooth hair looking at everyone around her..wish she still looked the same.

Be it a day old or just few months old she used to be just right for my lap while putting her to sleep or while traveling..and those days i used to wait when will she start to rollback, to crawl, and start walking..Now that she's achieved all the milestones, I am waiting when will she start speaking..though she utters few words,i am waiting to hear more from her..the list is never ending i guess.I know as a mom, my expectations are always more from our babies.

I used to love dressing her up after bath, but initially i was so scared to give her a massage/bath alone and not to forget putting her to sleep-It was a terror for me( she was very poor sleeper then), But now I still want her to be a small innocent doll, whom i have bathe, feed, putting her to sleep and even play with her..As she grows older i am surely gonna miss all these things so badly
On one hand i want her to grow up and learn new things everyday, at the same time i don't want her to grow up so fast also having to go to school, then face exams and grades etc etc..and of course having to face the other hurdles in life..
I am happy seeing her not fitting into my lap anymore and growing up, but wish that she still remains a little innocent doll..coming up to me for everything.

I want to know have you ever felt like this? Have these thoughts ever crossed your mind? I hope it is a normal feeling every mom goes through at one point in her life..
Please share your experiences or rather thoughts....

Lifesaving Tips for Parents with Toddlers

Hey All,

Just came across this nice article to keep parents of toddlers "sane"
http://www.babycenter.com/0_parents-say-55-ways-to-save-time-and-make-life-with-a-toddle_1397855.bc

ENJOY!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Hello all

Thanks Deepti for the lovely introduction and mentioning my name often here(:)), thanks Anitha for the warm welcome and a big sorry for writing/replying so late. Just like you all mommies out here, I was quite busy with my son and with stuff :). Just took a minor break from blogging while I was enjoying summers. I am also trying to learn German these days and I am enjoying every bit of it(atleast for now!). But I do visit Mommy center regularly and read all the posts here. I can so relate to all of you here.

Its just so relaxing to share our experiences, joys and irritations as a parent. I do that all the time( with Deepti mainly) as we try to meet daily!. We keep asking each other, what is Samvit eating nowadays? how much does he eat? how do you make him sleep? and what not and its so comforting to know that somebody else is sailing in the same boat as me(hehe) and to know that all this is so 'NORMAL'. Hey deepti, I did not know about your story...I can only imagine how it must have been like. I read it in the blink of an eye... seriously.
Hats off to you to start this interesting blog (I love the thoughts behind those footprints!).

Here is wishing a healthy and safe pregnancy to all Moms-to-be out here!

Cheers!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Mommies Day Out

For a very long time Neha(my neighbor) and me wanted to go out together. More for some time outdoors with kids than for anything else. And thankfully for us, we both seem to like similar cuisines and interests. So, finally this week we decided we ARE going. Because once winter shows up its going to be harder than ever to bundle up our little brats and take them out.

Today was our first outing together with the kids. We thought its a good idea to celebrate our two-year friendship. Tee hee....Anyway, that being said, the one thing that we were worried about was how the kids would deal with the whole idea. We gave it our best shot and hit the road. We'd decided to go to TGIF. Im glad we did because I do not remember how long it has been since I last went out for a solid three hours with a friend. And, the good part is both the brats had woken up late in the morning which left us with a good chunk of time to relish our meal, chat and simply hang out! We totally enjoyed ourselves and so did the kids (playing with menu cards, cutlery, cups and not to mention entertaining neighboring guests with their wild screams after their little tummies were full). While we enjoyed our delicious entrees the kids enjoyed themselves and later we (I did!!) gorged down an entire plate of heavenly, sinful dessert.

Sometimes, I guess all we stay-home moms need is some fresh air for ourselves and a little place for our energy-powerhouses to throw themselves around. So those of you who feel that frustration rising up ur brain making you think you will burst any minute, take some time, pull someone along and head outdoors.. even if its just for half an hour - it does miracles!

As of now, if there is anything I regret about this whole event its the number of hours I will have to exercise having pigged out at the restaurant!

Hospital Bag List for Mommies-to-be



Here's my hospital bag list, I did a ton of searching online before deciding what I would need. If this can save some of you the hunting, great!


I used everything, some during labor and many afterwards in the room over the week of the stay at hospital. Prepare to stay a week just in case you end up having a C-sec or if your baby needs special care for some reason and your stay gets extended.


Hospital Bag - essentials are in red :


  • Your medical reports file/scans etc. - will be needed if there is an emergency or if u have a c-sec + to help make decisions even for a normal birth

  • Watch with seconds hand to time contractions

  • Water sipper

  • Pack of orange juice or any juice small tetra pack-this was SUCH a lifesaver after all the labor just before i had to push. really helps energize.

  • Shawl and socks - u will feel extremely cold right after transition before the rest phase/pushing

  • Comfy nighties/pyjama suits

  • Bathrobes/dressing gowns(for when no visitors are there, this was super useful. esp after u come out of the bath and are tired n wanna just sit n change outside in the room)

  • Tons of undies, some which you dont mind chucking if u hafta

  • Disposable breast pads - carry enough for a week's stay just in case. I took a pack of 50.

  • Bathroom slippers to wear in the room/bathroom

  • Wet tissues and hand sanitizer for visitors for the baby to clean up before holding baby. Especially relevant now with swine flu.

  • Outfits for baby, baby powder-shampoo-soap-oil for nurse to bathe him/her

  • Cotton squares(buy a roll and chop squares, most economical for at home use) to wipe baby butt! But for hospital i found the disposable baby diaper wipes best. johnsons or himalaya both are fine. u may need 2 big packs at least for a 5 day stay cos u are not yet a pro diaper changer and will waste plenty(and baby will poop like crazy!)!!

  • Disposable diapers for the baby. we found pampers were the airiest. baby was happiest in them u see wht works fr u guys :) our mantra fr the hospital was 'everything disposable'. saves a lot of hassle.

  • Magazines, music, board games for pre delivery in case u have a long wait and are on epidural

  • Clip to hold your hair backsmall towels and tissues to wipe face if needed

  • Cellphone n charger, this was handy to let everyone know when baby arrived + to trace down daddy-to-be if he is away from the room :)

  • Laptop with datacard if u wanna stay connected after birth. rt after birth u will get this energy spurt next day and may wanna tell the whole world! dont overdo it on this day though...

  • Some cookies/light biscuits in case hospital doesnt allow a meal before delivery

  • Chewing gum, mints and deo/perfume if you have a long labor and don't wanna smell like something that cat dragged in!

  • 1 pack of super heavy sanit. pads for after birth(hospital may supply these, check)

  • Cosmetics - ur fave shampoo/soap/lip balm/moisturizer/compact/deo/perfume - u may feel like pampering urself after the birth, and may not like the hospital's selection!

  • Hairdryer so u look nice in pics!

  • Swaddle cloths for baby - 1mX1m made of super fine soft white cotton like u get in premium mundus/lungis. babies need this to feel secure fr at least 3-4 weeks after birth

  • Camera!

  • Toilet rolls - very useful for anything!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Birth Stories: Ding!

Should I say the oven was super efficient? Or is it the bun in the oven that could not wait to be out? And this is not Southwest Airlines slick deal either!

Yes! We had a baby girl, Maanya on May 1st, 18 days ahead of schedule! I know you are wondering how it all happened, all in the blink of an eye.
Well, Thursday evening was a fun day for me - spent an hour of so in our backyard watching hubby dearest pull out weeds and do other chores around the yard. I must admit that I trimmed some rose bushes as well - of course, no bending or squatting or anything remotely similar to that. A relaxing bath and a foot massage followed suit. As we hopped into bed trying to organize our weekend plans, I figured we had more tasks on our list than that could be accomplished in those 2 and 1/2 days! Plans were as follows:

Friday, May 1: Visit a close friend and her new born baby, and eat all different varieties of chaat possible.
Saturday, May 2: Swim in gym, buy the sweet lime plant from Home Depot, a final trip (before Baby's Day Out) to Babiesrus for some remaining shopping and Jesudas' concert in the evening. We even had the tickets for this.
Sunday, May 3: Lunch at a cousin's place.

So, it was around 11:15pm when I suddenly felt a pop. Yes, a POP. Must have been a powerful kick from the little one. That's what I told Sanju. But wait, I felt something flow out (water?). I woke up Sanju and told him that either the baby kicked real hard, or my water broke. We looked at each other for a second, and then jumped out of bed. Actually, I got out very gingerly...if my water indeed did break, the last thing I wanted to do was mess our mattress and the carpet. Headed down to the loo, and I couldn't believe what I experienced...my water had broken! I WAS GOING TO HAVE MY BABY in the next day or so! I was shivering from head to toe, even a warm hug couldn't stop the shiver. I prepared to head to the hospital while Sanju woke up my parents. I was grinning ear to ear, and shivering all at the same time. There was no point changing out of my PJs...I would leak anyways!

Hospital bag. Check.

Baby bag. Check.

Camera bag. Check.

Car seat. Check.

Ipod. Check.

Towels ( a bunch of them) to protect the car. Check.

We were on our way!

I called my doc and he sure was surprised to be woken by me -- in fact, the same morning he had mentioned that my baby would be on schedule, he or she would not be out for another two weeks!

11:45pm. At the hospital, checked in at Emergency and waited for some one from L & D to come get me. That was the first time I sat in a wheel-chair! I could have substituted for Niagara Falls - the water continued to gush out, thought I'd drown in my own amniotic fluid! Once in the triage, I changed into the hospital gown. The nurses got all the necessary paper work done to get me admitted. An IV was administered, monitors were setup to track my contractions, the foetal heart rate and my blood pressure. I was 1 cm dilated and 80% effaced. The plan was to check my progress again at 5am. The contractions had begun. I was smiling, sometimes grinning and even joing around. The nurses were convinced that I was not having any contractions. We were waiting for a L & D room to be cleaned up. Oh, another thing, only one person is allowed in the triage. So my parents had to "wait" in the waiting room.

12:30am. Finally, I walked down the aisle to the room where I would soon have my baby. My parents came in there as well. Once we were all settled in, the nurses turned down the lights so we could get some rest. Well, I was still shivering with excitement, running a temperature of 99.4 (could be a cause for concern if it went above 100). The contractions were getting stronger, but still bearable and were 5-7 minutes apart. Sanju sat by my side, holding my hand while trying to get a few winks.
5am. Status Quo - 1 cm dilated and 80% effaced. I had not progressed in 5 hours. Doc decided to get me started on Pitocin. They wanted the contractions to be stronger and closer. My plea for walk in the garden, well, at least the corridor was declined. Reason? My baby was dozing off a bit too much and needed to be active at this time. So I had to be on the monitor at all times. We bargained for a walk to the bathroom and a 5 minute walk inside my room before being strapped down again...No idea what happened then! My tummy started tightening like crazy...the contractions had gotten really strong now...I could barely stand, let alone walk! Hoped they would do away with Pitocin, but nope, the plan was still on.

6:15am. Once Pitocin got into my blood stream, it ensured that I moan and groan and bite my teeth every 2-3 minutes. That was not all, I was having back labor since the little one was sunny side up. No amount of counter pressure that Sanju applied seemed to help. We breathed in and breathed out, my hubby, my coach, constantly encouraging me. It was painful. I thought I had a pretty high tolerance for pain, but I seemed to have crossed that threshold. I was preparing to ask for epidural.

6:30am. The doc came in to check on me. Another cervical exam revealed that I was 3-4cm dilated..yippee, some progress at last. However, I was told it would take anywhere from 4 to 6 hours for me to be completely dilated. The nurse was again going to check at 9:30. So the logical part of me decided to take epidural..it made sense to conserve my energy for the final push than to get pooped out only to have a C-section. A vaginal delivery was the goal.

7am. The anesthesiologist was there, and before I knew, I could no longer feel the contractions. I could not feel my legs even! They were dead. Somebody had to move them for me. The only thing that told me i was having contractions was the little tightness I would be at the top of my tummy/ uterus. I was back to smiling again. I got my ipod out and decided to listen to some Adobee music (we had nicknamed the baby Adobee, and Adobee music is the set of instrumental pieces that I used to listen to every night) and get some shut eye now. Parents and Sanju headed down to the cafe for some breakfast. My breakfast was all of some apple juice, that too before I was given epidural. It was going to be ice chips only here on.
The next hour went in me being turned from left to right and right to left every 10 minutes. They claimed to be losing the baby's heart beat every now and then. So much for trying to sleep, or barely drifting off into dreamland.

8am. The nurse decided to check my cervix 1.5 hours earlier than my doc's plans. She believed that the baby was decending very rapidly and that would be the only reason why the heat beat was being missed. The next thing I heard from her - "Guess what, you are ready to have your baby!" Wow..I had progressed to 10cm dilated and 100% effaced all in a matter of 1 hour! The baby was at 0-station. The doc was there in 5 minutes, smiling and soon started to get ready for the big moment. All the nurses were in position, the baby warmer all set. Only one missing was my husband! His phone was turned off, I didn't know where my cell phone was. Finally, one of the nurses went down to the cafe herself to get my hubby. I was not going to have my baby without him being in the room!

8:30am. My feet up in stirrups. Doctor all set to help the baby out. Sanju by my side. I was wearing my glasses again. The mirror was positioned for me to see the little one make it's grand entrance into the world. Soon I had the word I had been waiting for: PUSH! With all my might, I huffed and puffed, and pushed with every contraction, ever so obediently. Suddenly, I could see a head ful of hair...did I need more motivation? All along, I saw a calm face before me, my doctor. He sat there patiently, silently encouraging me. At last, he decided to use vacuum to help the baby out. He said I would have a tear anyways.

9:06am. It's a GIRL! Maanya came out in one slick motion with the help of vacuum and one final push from me. She was so pink, cherry red lips and oh so alert, taking in everything and everyone she saw. She weighed 5lb and 3oz .

The whole birthing experience now feels like a distant memory and very surreal, yet a most memorable experience! I wonder if I really brought this little girl into the world!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

A Working Mother's Guilt

Hi Ladies, I'm finally here! I have been following each and every one of your stories and enjoyed reading all of them. What better way to start than sharing with you one of the experiences that has touched and taught me so much in this past one year of being a mother.

For all the working mothers reading this post...I think you will be able to relate to this. I work for two days from home and the rest of the time at the office. As a new mother, this breaks my heart. I still remember the first day when I went to work 3 months after Aayush was born, I was in tears. Aayush was in very good, capable and trustworthy hands - his grandma! Yet, I could not shake off the sad feeling I felt. It haunted me all throughout the day. It felt completely .... for the lack of a better word...wrong. Slowly as the weeks and months passed by, I started to get used to the feeling. I consoled myself by wondering what all the mothers who worked the entire week from the office felt like. However, the guilt got worse. The guilt of not being there to see your child grow and bloom, the guilt of not being there and wanting to do everything with and for your child, including changing poopy diapers! It's been a year now and it's getting better now knowing that no matter how much time I spend with my son, he and I both know that I am his mother and there is nothing else more important in this entire world!

As I wave goodbye to my son who, looks at me with a small smile on his sad face from the balcony above and step into the car, the guilt mysteriously appears out of nowhere and I ask myself ....is it worth it?

Social Misbehaviour - How much is too much?

How do you decide when to push the 'Stop' button when your little one goes outta whack in public areas? What do you do if there is nothing that you can do about it but simply act like you are bothered by interfering in your child's bad activity trying to stop him/her to show on-lookers that you are concerned? When your child hits the high pitch screeching because you are stopping him/her - then what?!?

I faced a situation like this with my growing toddler. He's not much of a walker yet but that has not limited his activities. Just the other day we had been to see a doctor. My husband was ill and I drove him (and my boy, of course!) to the doctor's clinic. Sonny boy and me and to sit outside in the waiting room while my hubby went inside to get checked up. Thankfully there was only one lady in the waiting room apart from us. There was this huge heap of magazines that lay on the tables beside the chairs that we sat on. For the first few minutes my lil brat sat quietly. Once he seemed satiated with all that he saw he simply had to get down and do his 'thing'.

His first target was the magazines - the only thing he could reach easily. At first he was simply pointing images on it and I kept telling him what it was. Car, sky, baby... this went on for a few minutes - and then it came. And it came like a storm.... One loud rrrrrrrrrrrip sound!!! And all I could do was try to yank my boy away from that table. But another louder sound overpowered the one that just took place... a LOUD scream. I did not know what in the blue blazes I was to do. I picked him up as he fidgeted around with his limbs flying all over the place... and I tried to distract him.. but NO! He fought his way back down and went straight back to that stack... If there was anything I wanted, it was for my hubby to get out fast!! But just as everything else, even this wish of mine took a little longer to get fulfilled. By the end of the whole visit, one mag was totally crushed and torn. I had a good mind of taking it away *hush hush*. But, what if they had some sorta detectors or something- I mean, you never know!?!?! So I 'flattened' the mag as much as I could and placed it at the bottom of the pile and walked out like nothing happened.

Has something like this happened with you? What did you do?

Monday, August 17, 2009

Welcome Anjana Parthasarathy

Its that time again...New members!

Ladies, welcome Anjana Parathasarathy! She is Vijayalakshmi's friend and has a baby girl named Maanya who I'm guessing (from Anjana's blog)is in her fourth month now,right Anjana? Do write in more about yourself, your little angel and everything that you want to share with us - Because that is what we are all here for!!

Happy Blogging Anjana...and we cannot wait to see more of you out here.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Reminder for Subscription

Hey ladies,

Here is a little reminder for all those of you who did not subscribe to Mommy Center yet. Follow these instructions to do so and get email notifications of every new post on our blog!

Cheers,
Deepti

Birth Stories - Hope never dies

Had we started this blog about 3-4 years ago, I would have had nothing to say in this domain. Probably, the only thing I would have shared back then were my woes and sorrows of being weighed down by a diagnosis that seemed to have no cure and only led us to believe we, rather I, suffered from "Unexplainable Infertility". So brace yourself, because this birth story is going to either bore the hell outta you (yup its LONG!) or make you thank your stars that this was not your story!!


My birth story (or should I say journey to motherhood?) really began way back in 2003 when we discovered that things were'nt as rosy as they seemed. My cycles got irregular (They were so even when I was a teen. In college, they came into control because I lost weight.) and our trips to gyneacs began. If there was one thing that all of them mentioned was that I had Polycystic Ovaries and that if I lost weight I could get pregnant. So I tried. We bought a treadmill, I joined a gym, drank protein shakes etc. But, little did I know it was only the beginning.

We tried everything - birth control pills to regulate my cycles, HcG shots, clomid .... you name it. We knew these were the priliminary rounds of doctor visits because the biggies like Artificial Insemination (IUI), In-Vitro Fertilization etc. were silently knocking at our doors. Then we got to the US and I met this fabulous gyneac. Not that she has some magic wand to help people conceive but its her ways and methods of treatment and analysis that left us (who had seenso many docs) in awe!! She too tried all that she could. Finally, she said she had observed me very well and that our best bet was to visit an Infertility Specialist. So we listened to her and did the same. Sadly, our health insurance plan covered only a few of the procedures partly. And, you need to be a millionaire of sorts to be able to get it done without insurance out here! So, we met the infertility specialist who explained us various financial options. He also gave us "natural" options, like me losing (more) weight, which the N number of gyneacs I met had also told me. I knew weight had a major role to play in this. Those of you who know me well, also know I stash on pounds at the drop of a hat and that it directly influences my hormone levels and in turn my cycles and further reduces my chance of ovulating and hence - procreating!!! Talk about a vicious cycle. So everytime I let go and ate to my hearts content (the foodie that I am!!) I would end up having late cycles. Sometimes no cycle at all, leaving my gyneac wondering if I was pregnant. And each time that happened, she would perform tests after tests and finally - "Negative""Negative""Negative"!! This went on for a year (We came to the US in 2006. So this went on till 2007).


In the meanwhile, I decided to do something good for myself. Considering I had all the time in the world (being on a dependant visa does have its benefits for people like me), I decided to dedicate my mornings to workouts and noons to do things that I loved (art/music/writing etc.). This decision paid off. And it paid off like nothing else. I even decided to stop worrying about conceiving and start enjoying life. I got more active and dropped about 5lb in a few weeks. That itself was a huge task with my wayward hormones. But just continuing it and remaining active helped me get my cycles on my own. Of course every now and then things would go hay-wire and I would run to my doc.


It was one such time she had asked us to see the Infertility Specialist and yet she continued her treatment on me for irregular cycles. She said she will have to do a pregnancy test first. I was like - "Ya, as always!!". Here the normal modus operandi is that after a patient goes through a clinical/lab test the results reach the doctor and not the patient. Then someone from the doctors office would phone you with the results. So, the day my phone rang with my doctors number on it, I casually picked up and like I expected the bubbly Punjabi lady on the other side said "Deepti, aapka result aya hain. Negative hain". I said, "Achcha... thank you" and we both hung up. But my gyneac never stops at one test. Which is why I love her!! Hehe.. read on and you will know why... She repeates tests after 10 days and tells couples to stay "away" from each other until that test is done. So, after the 10 day trial and test I again awaited results. I almost was certain it would be negative. Had the first one not been so?!?! So I did my rigorous workout of a good 2.5 hours that morning and had my breakfast and settled down with ironing my hubby's shirts when the phone rang.

The Punjabi lady again - "Deepti, aapka result aaya hain".
I said, " Okay".
She said - "Positive hain". _________________________
Me (pulling out the plug of the iron) - "Kya! Are you kidding??!".
Punjaabni - "Nahi. Its positive. Your HcG count is 53. Abhi toh shaayad ek hafta hua hain so keep it to yourself. Dont tell anyone, not even your parents. Let it be confirmed aur fir batao". Me - "Can I tell my husband?" (For certain I was insane in that very moment, which made me ask this DUMB question!!)
She - "Haan haan of course!! Congratulations."

HOOOOOOOOOOOOLYYYYY COWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! I was pregnant (I was working my butt out!!) and then I was jumping up and down and then stopping myself trying to believe the reality that was....I cried and screamed and howled as if I had won a million dollars. I probably would not be as happy had I won it too! And then I called my husband and I repeated the dialog:


Me - "I got the result" (He was so dumb. He should've known that if I'd CALLED to tell him then it was not gonna be negative. Because in our history of babymaking (haha) I never called him to give results cuz they were always negative!)
Hubby - "Hmm" (Serious tone at work!)
Me - "Its positive"
Hubby - "_____________________________________ Call the doc and check if they are reading your results and not someone elses"
Me - "Okay"


And we actually did that!! We both drove down to see the results. As if we would know how to read it. But I saw HcG>53 and I saw Deepti Pawar and it was both in one sheet of paper and I smiled.... and I still AM!!!


Phew... If you have read this far, then dont stop now because.... here is the actual Birth Story - The story of the miracle baby - Samvit! (Ya, this one is short...the real thing is over)

So, the nine month penance began. I was due on the 16th Of Jan, 2008. Peak winter in this Northern Hemisphere. Its horrible to face it when you're not pregnant, let alone carrying an extra 40 odd pounds. But, I could not be happier.


The night of 15th Jan, I began getting pains. Those were probably the false labor pains. Or just the initial ones. But they were very mild, but a slow signal of what was to come. Then, by 16th morning the pain increased. I began timing it. It came like every hour. Sometimes every 45 min. So I thought I must call my doc. She said, "Do not call me until its every 5 min apart". So I waited... and by lunch time It was almost every half an hour and the intensity was on the rise. We decided to have an early dinner and then call the doctor again. I began getting pains every 10 minutes apart but it was not something I could not bear. I was still able to walk around, talk and crack a joke or two!! Still we headed to the hospital and even the registration nurse said I looked pretty good for a woman in labor. I was happy I heard that.. but not for long.


By 10:30pm I was on the bed of the delivery room and if there was one thing I wanted to do it was pee. Thanks to the pressure in my tummy and the cold I wanted to sit in the toilet. But I was tied down with all sorts of machines that monitored me and my baby. I lay there and the pain increased in leaps and bounds. I heard a lady in the neighboring dlivery ward screech her lungs out and knew it was my turn next. The pain (which I think those of you who went thru normal labor know quite well, so I wont try to explain it since no words can explain it anyway!) went on increasing and I was ready to slap anyone who came to console me.


Right then, as they were checking my dilation ( I was about 5-6 cm) my water broke. I was still willing to try to go through and have a normal birth (I still wish I had one), but thankfully since the water broke they could see that my baby had pooped inside of me. He was trying so hard to come out that his heart rate began fluctuating and his head got turned to one side. At 7:10 am on the 17th of Jan, my doctor said it was going to be dangerous if I decided not to go in for a C-section because the poop could prove fatal for my baby. And how could I say no??

The anaesthesia came as a BIG relief. And I do not know if they put an epidural. It was 7:45am and I was inside the Operation Theatre. God knows what happened after those 3 pricks that stabbed my back (where they asked me to stay still etc. Is that epidural?? God knows!) I was in a state of coma I think and I collapsed on the operation table. My mom was allowed inside. Although I would have loved to have my husband too, only one person was allowed in the OT. But sadly, he stepped out of the delivery room to inform my Dad (who was waiting in the guest room) about the emergency c-section and hence was not allowed back in. I could do anything to rewind time and go back to that moment and have my husband with me to see my baby. But, atleast mom was there. She was my strength and my everything (and still is) when I lay there like a half dead human. I knew nothing that was going on. I was unconcious, not due to the anaeasthesia but due to being in labor for so long. The only next thing I heard was screams in the room "8:10" "8:10"!! All I could barely do was smile in my coma-like-state at my mom a a few minutes later they got my baby to me all wrapped up and I kissed his tender, soft cheek and went back to la-la land.


On 17th Jan, 2008 at 8:10am Samvit Pawar was born. And from that moment he has been living proof that when everything else fails, hope never dies....

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Childhood is Calling - Yet Again!

Its been a while since I blogged. Sorry if I did not answer any mails/messages because I was way too busy enjoying life and re-living my childhood through my little brat.

Like I mentioned Samvit plays often with Neha's son, Darsh. Not too long ago we mommies and the kids were at the park. They usually play on the swing... but one day we decided to sit on the see-saw! After, we got onto it, it suddenly occurred to me that I did not remember the last time I had sat on one. And to make things seem "weirder" I was actually enjoying myself. I felt like a kid all over again.

Just the other day I handed Samvit a couple of crayons and paper and he gaped at me with this look that meant, "Now what?". Then as if to teach him some art, I drew out a cat, house, etc. And he still looked as blank as he did the minute before. Then I tightened my grip on the crayon and scribbled my heart out and smiled. The next thing I know my baby was chuckling away and joined in to scribble with me. Well I guess the easiest way to teach them is to get down to their level... and boy, did we have a hearty laugh together. Life is so good!!!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Birth Stories: Predictable yet Unpredictable!

I simply love the story of how Jaiden was born into this world. To begin with, Binoy and I never imagined that we would be parents by our first wedding aniversary! Yes guys.. we had a perfect plan in our heads.. marriage, I find a job and then hopefully buy a house and in 2 years after our marriage we would think of a baby. but HEY! God had other plans for us!!

I used to pray that I should get a job before we start a family because then we could settle down better and then provide better for our little one. God definitely answered my prayer about finding a job and having the baby.. offcourse the settling part couldn't happen. While I was going through interviews and job hunting, I was offered a position in a company and a day later I accepted the offer, we found out that we were expecting.

My pregnancy had only one major problem.. well two.. a terrible back pain and adjusting to a new job. I started having terrible back pains even before we knew we were expecting and had it till the last minute. I had sciatica which made it painful to walk more than 15 minutes, to sleep at night or even stand under the shower for more than 10 minutes. and as the baby grew , it just kept getting worse as the uterus kept pinching my nerve at the back. As far as my new job.. just sucked!

In the midst of all this, we decided to move to Maryland because Binoy got another job offer and a month before Jaiden was born , we made our major move.

In my 3rd trimester, we found out that the baby was breach and the doctor told us that there could be a chance of c-section. But she also told us that the baby is likely to turn around as it gets closer. Well our little fella just didn't want to sit upside down. He was breach through the end and the doctor told us that we could decide on a date to schedule the c-section.

We were given couple of days to choose our date to schedule the c-section and finally came up with July 18th. My due date was 22nd and so we decided to have it a couple of days before so that Binoy's parents (who live in ny) could come and be there with us when we went in for the procedure.I was kind of upset for the fact that we had to decide on a birthday for our little one.. but hey.. couldn't do much about it because he was breach. And I also thought to myself.. would never know how it would feel to have actual labor pains.

D-day: My parents had come down from India 2 weeks before for the big event and Binoy's parents had come down from NY the evening before. The c-section was schedule on 18th at 12:00 noon. We were happy that our little one had all the grandparents around when he/she arrived. So after dinner was all done , and chit chatting with everyone, decided to get a good night's rest and be prepared for the surgery next day. We slept late that night, after receiving calls from friends and family wishing us all the best.

So we get to bed around 12 , saying a prayer that everything should be fine and go well. As usual I woke up around 2 to go to the bathroom (how many times we have to go to the bathroom in a day!!!) and I noticed something red in my urine and realized that the mucus plug was expelled. So I went back to bed and told Binoy what I saw and we were told that it could take hours or even days for actual delivery to happen once the mucus plug is out. So we didn't take it much seriously and we thought..ok lets get back to sleep and call the doctor in the morning. A couple of seconds later I suddenly feel POP!! I was like ..whatz going on??!!! and suddenly felt this huge gush of water coming out and realized my water broke! Then I started getting a little nervous. Binoy woke up everyone and by the time he came to the room.. I started to bleed and I started going into labor. ooooooooooooooooo the paaaaaiiiiiinnnn.... (yeah just when i thought ..how labor pains would feel..there i go into labor!).

My contractions were pretty hard and we called the doctor and she told us to get to the hospital as fast as we can. The hospital is only 10 minutes from our home and with it being 2 am in the morning , you could reach even faster!! But I tell you ladies... those 10 minutes were the longest 10 minutes in the car. I just had such bad pains that I couldn't wait anymore!!

Got to the hospital and the nurse checked and found out that I was dilated already 5 cm and I was dilating fast. 10 minutes later , the doctor came and I was already 8cm. She said the baby's feet was sticking out and that we should go in for an emergency c-section.So they took me in for c-section and Jaiden was born at 4:04 am. Although I couldn't hold him then, it was the most beautiful moment ever. We were parents with a beautiful child.

And why I love this story is because, we were scheduled to have the c-section on that day , only 8 hours later.. but he decided to come in his own time on the same day that we decided to have him come into this world. We predicted his birth , but happened with unpredictable events!!

Friday, July 31, 2009

Cherish your memories

Hi Guys, This is my first post. I wanted to cherish your memories with the best thing i ever had.
This is our Christmas party pic at Jennifer's.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

First Post....

First of all, Thanks Pallavi and the rest of the team for including me in this blog. I'm stepping into the last trimester and I'm already going insane (though I know its all gonna be well worth it in the end) !! I do hope I can get any tips from the seniors in this group.

A quick introduction ... I am a CA from Chennai and was Pallavi's colleague and friend in Citibank. I resigned my job when I got married so that I can help hubby in his private practice (he's a lawyer) and also devote more time to home.

Pregnancy so far: I had a horrible first trimester with so much vomiting and nausea that I could barely get up from bed. To top that all, I had mild bleeding which made my doc give me strict instruction not to even get up from bed till month five (I wasn't even allowed to walk around inside the house). I've just begun feeling like myself again in the last one month. But looks like my happiness is bound to be short-lived. I came down with high fever and joint/body pain 4 days ago. Fever is showing no signs of going away (hitting 102 to 103 degrees). Am popping in paracetamol tablets (which only brings the fever down by a couple of degrees and then shoots back up in an hour or so) and waiting for my blood and urine reports to come in. I read somewhere that fever higher than 102 degrees can harm the baby, so I've been worried sick. If anyone has any tips on controlling fever, will be glad to try!!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Birth stories...

Since we have new mommies and mommies to be joining the group, I thought it would be nice to share our birth stories here. Will kick it off with mine - my ulterior motive is if i don't write about it, am likely to forget it with time!

The pregnancy: I had a roller coaster pregnancy thanks to PCOS making trimester 1 riskier than normal, compounded by some blips on the ultrasound including a low placenta that made my doc put me on house arrest for 2 months (aarrgh!) and our annual holiday to Goa was cancelled. On the up-side, i had not 1 minute of morning sickness/nausea and the house arrest meant I caught up on a ton of reading. Trimester 2 and the anomaly scans etc. were all good, placenta moved up - so I was allowed to workout again and get about town for movies and shopping and dinners out. Then came Trimester 3 and the warning that I was at risk of having a premie cos of family history. So again outings were down and all holidays cancelled. A final 'just for fun' scan in week 37 ended up showing some possible problem for the baby which required a paed. cardiologist to be present at the birth. Thankfully Mihika chose to arrive in week 38/39 cusp so we didn't have long to worry!

The birth
Early stages: I was staying at my docs place in Pune (yes, you read that right - my doc was also my mum's own sister) - with the hospital a short 5 minute drive away. Srikanth was with us for the weekend since it was our 5th anniversary as was my mum who had arrived with me a few weeks earlier. Sri was due to head back to Mumbai(where we live)Monday morning but that's when I had my first contraction at the breakfast table!

My aunt walked over and checked to see they were the 'real' thing, and I could tell these were different from the random tightening that the Braxton-Hicks I'd had the week before were. We fished out the timer and discovered the contractions were 30 seconds or so every 30 minutes to an hour. I decided to sit down to a normal day of work and it was only by evening that I finally began to have to use my lamaze breathing techniques. By late evening things got a little stronger and I felt the need to head for a walk at 9.30pm to take my mind off them. When Srikanth and I came upstairs, we found mum and aunt all dressed up and ready to head to hospital! But i'd decided not to check into hospital at night 'cause i felt it would just be one long night - i wanted to sleep in a nice home bed, have a nice homey breakfast and THEN go to the hospital. I had a decent night's sleep though stronger contractions woke me up every 20 minutes at night. I later discovered my aunt and mum hadn't slept much at all!!!

Off we go : At 9am the next day I had a warm shower, a light breakfast of semia upma and a bowl of melon and said 'Now, let's go to the hospital.' :) Sent a mail to work folks saying i was off to have my baby and headed to the car with contractions now every 15 minutes lasting about 30 seconds. Took my well stocked 'hospital bag' that had been carefully packed with a stack of magazines, an ipod, chewing gum, fruit juice packs and chocolate plus my trusty sipper, some socks and a shawl. (I ended up not having any time for the books, mags or ipod!)

The check-up: When we reached the hospital and checked into the maternity suite at Apollo Jehangir by 9.30am - I was thrilled to see it was an LDR so that meant no shuttling around from labor ward to delivery room etc. Wore my robes, junior docs checked me(this means they strap on a fetal heart monitor and a contraction monitor which gives an ECG like output), my aunt did a quick internal check(this was like a pap smear/TVS but easier since there are no gadgets/tools involved, just a gloved doctor!) and found I was 3 cm dilated and said 'still lots of time - contractions are not that strong' (i was like Oh! Hope my lamaze breathing helps when it gets strong cos this felt strong enough!!). They prepped me with an enema and I asked for the epidural to be fitted though no dose would be given till later(just so i wouldn't flinch and have it go the wrong way). It was now 10am.

The wait: At 11am I was given an IV and a test dose to check for allergies with the epidural. All well but since it was a mild dose I felt every contraction. My drip was 'enhanced' with pitocin to speed things up. In about 10 minutes the contractions got really strong and came 10 minutes apart lasting 30 seconds to 45 seconds. The hospital catering folks dropped by with hot soup and lunch. (I skipped the lunch, had the soup). At noon they decided to do an ARM(membrane rupture since my waters hadn't broken). This felt like a little pressure and the doc did this manually - painless, again internally. My aunt then left on her rounds. By 1pm I felt my breathing wasn't gonna get me through the next phase so asked for my epidural dose. Junior docs wanted to wait for my aunt. So I groaned and moaned(learnt in lamaze that the hee and hoo breathing won't help if pains are strong and painful, and that this would be better. Sri held my hand through it all and reminded me to keep breathing) my way through till 1.30 when she arrived - apparently I was rather quiet cos a doc came to check if I was asleep or sniffling cos it was so silent! She checked me and found I was already past transition - the toughest phase and almost 9cm along!! She did give an ok for the epidural which was administered at 2.15 or so. Unfortunately for me, everything in the labor stage was over by 2.30 which is when the epidural pain relief kicked in! So much for that.

Mihika arrives: At 2.30 my aunt did another check and said the baby was almost at the birth station, but that she would not get me to push till the baby crowned since I had just had an epidural and may not feel like pushing(ladies if the baby is doing fine and you're on an epi, please please tell our docs you want to wait to push, it is SO much easier). Again, lamaze lessons kicked in! We'd been taught to maximise the phase between labor and pushing to rest and recoup. So I planned to take a 20 minute nap and Srikanth brought me one of our orange juice packs which I glugged down in 30 seconds! By this time i had the shivers so put on my socks and shawl to catch some zzzz's. At 3pm the docs arrived again(and sometime in between gave me an episiotomy) with nurses in tow and had me set up in a stirrup type position to push. Everyone in the room cheered like a squad in unison, 'Come on Pallavi' and suddenly I felt the need to push! Everyone cheered like crazy saying you're nearly there - which I thought was a load of bunkum, intended to motivate a pooped woman in labor(friends told me they pushed for 30 mins to 2 hours) - it was only 3.03pm. So the next time I pushed again and suddenly my aunt says 'Nearly there, once more', so I hold my breath and push again. "waaaaaahh waaaahhh" . What? Already? I check the clock its been just 3 to 5 minutes since we started!!! The baby arrived at 3.05pm with no fuss and a wild yell! A slippery lil thing who was given to me to say Hi to...we were so surprised she was already there, but happy as hell! Srikanth was the proud dad to a darling baby girl...thankfully our nickname for our baby-to-be was ok (we had referred to the baby as Olive. didn't have a clue if it was gonna be a girl or a boy. Imagine a poor boy called Olive!)!

They took her away to the next room for the cardiologist and neonatologist to check her while I got my episiotomy stitched up/placenta delivered, she got good APGARs and we were happy. She came back to us all bundled up and looked us straight in the eye when we held her. We melted. Mihika was here.

PS: She was later found to be absolutely fine and healthy, so no worries on that count. Touchwood.
PPS: After the birth, we hung around the same room where they gave me some pain killers and brought me hot grilled sandwiches and tea while I was under routine observation post delivery. I shifted to my room an hour later.
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