Hi Ladies, I'm finally here! I have been following each and every one of your stories and enjoyed reading all of them. What better way to start than sharing with you one of the experiences that has touched and taught me so much in this past one year of being a mother.
For all the working mothers reading this post...I think you will be able to relate to this. I work for two days from home and the rest of the time at the office. As a new mother, this breaks my heart. I still remember the first day when I went to work 3 months after Aayush was born, I was in tears. Aayush was in very good, capable and trustworthy hands - his grandma! Yet, I could not shake off the sad feeling I felt. It haunted me all throughout the day. It felt completely .... for the lack of a better word...wrong. Slowly as the weeks and months passed by, I started to get used to the feeling. I consoled myself by wondering what all the mothers who worked the entire week from the office felt like. However, the guilt got worse. The guilt of not being there to see your child grow and bloom, the guilt of not being there and wanting to do everything with and for your child, including changing poopy diapers! It's been a year now and it's getting better now knowing that no matter how much time I spend with my son, he and I both know that I am his mother and there is nothing else more important in this entire world!
As I wave goodbye to my son who, looks at me with a small smile on his sad face from the balcony above and step into the car, the guilt mysteriously appears out of nowhere and I ask myself ....is it worth it?